Andrew Fucking Lloyd Weber week! Excited! He seemed to me the only one that was real with the idols. He gave them constructive critisism and was to the point. Love that fag! However, I really, really hated Cats. It is the worst play I have ever seen, I thought it might have been because I had a crazy cold but no. The whole play was introducing cats "Hi, I'm Twat and I love yarn", "Hi, I hate Twat, I am his evil twin sister Cunty" "Hi, remember me? I was here with you when we were kittens and now I am back. I'm Returny." HATE! IT! Syesha, one word, AMAZING! She better not be on the bottom 3, but I have a feeling she may be since shes not a favorite. Sad face. Even my love for my baby Jason Castro isn't going to make me like Cats. Why he chose this song? Fuck me I don't know? Ya, fuck me. I mean, really? Stupid song choice buddy, even Andrew thought so. He put me to sleep, not even his pretty face could save it. He didn't even know the song was sung by a cat. Umm its called Cats baby, lay off the mota buddy.
HAH! Even ALW hates Brooke White at first, I just keep on hatin. She fucked up and had to start the song over. Paula even called her out! She ruined the song, I f-ing love Phantom of the Opera. She better get her ass home, after all she needs to be ready for Cocks wedding. Bitch is probably prego, SHOTGUN WEDDING! Hold on to your fifteen minutes darlin! Did y'all know someone actually purposed to our favorite stripper? Also see how I got to work in a a Cock reference. Ya, still hate her. Go home Brooke!!!
Poor Lil' David he looks so hungry and tired. David picked a song meant for a diva, hah! He probably finally put his foot down and told his dad to fuck off. This queen loves him some Sarah Brightman and he is gonna sing it! I liked this performance. This fag is gonna win. Damn you America, don't let it happen! I love me some Carly, she finally owned that stage! Syesha and Car Car just opened up that big voice of theirs this week. Carly is here to stay bitches. I think I would totally do a threesome with her and her inked up from the flo up hubby. He makes me wanna do dirty things, like not use a coaster. I don't see an ounce of cute in David Cook. Not one fucking ounce. He kind of looks like Carrie Underwood's re-re cousin. With that being said, WOW! I really enjoyed his rendition of that beautiful, beautiful song we all love! Grrr, he is good, I will give you that. He still looks like he may have been in ESL classes in school. Sooo, go home Brooke!!
Ramona, Mario, Avery- I hate Ramona, enough said. Her poor husband Mario, and I feel even worse for her daughter Avery. She is aged well beyond her years, she is 12. She already has a college plan and is ready to make it big financially and if need to, without a man. Rameana's mother wasn't able to leave her husband because of financial reasons. I am all for women having their own money, but let Avery be a kid. She is even forcing her into acting. Avery likes it but wants school to come first. Smart girl! Ramona's voice is like a 80 year old Jewish lady pimping out her son at the temple single mingle. She also thinks models don't use their brains and she said it in front of the models, and the Countess, an ex-model. She just has no class, she wants to be young forever (age gracefully girl!), and wears tacky clothes. She leaves dinner parties and is a horrible liar. I hate her.
Jill & Ally- Jills mom, Gloria, hates the smell of her shampoo, I hate the smell of pert plus too. Her mom's face is stretched like silly putty over an egg and her lips look like a sideways who-ha. I hate her "gay husband" he is trying way to hard. Are you kidding me? A pink cowboy hat? You are in your 40's man, and you are not a a girl in Vegas at a bachelorette party. Jill is kinda immature, she didn't get front row at a fashion show and had to sit behind Ramona and her Ivana Trump do. Jill is from New Jersey, and you can tell. I like her though, Betheeny and Jill are my faves, the rest should fight to the death and last one standing gets to tell Simon hes gay. Jill and Betheeny are just a great duo. I also think they need to show more Ally, she is why I want Jill to adopt me, so we can be sisters. She has that low husky sexy girl voice. She is also 14 and going on 30. Shes a lil thick and I like it. We can split a foot long at Subway. Love. Ally. Anywho, Jill's fight with Romeana is hilarious. Women in their forties battling over a tennis game, cute. Kidding, I love it, I just wish there was mud wrestling and drag queens involved. Season two spoiler LOL. J and B need their own show. Period. The rest of them can just be pawns that the two of them can make fun of along with the rest of America.
LuAnn the Countess-is such a cunt, totally two-faced but thats why I kind of like her. Her maid wants to kill her and I love that. Her maid is comedy, we need more of her in our lives. LuAnn is hands on with her kids, sorta, but the maid does everything. EVERYTHING. Probably even blow the Count once a month. She raises the kids and she even called her out on it. LuAnn mentioned La Migre, that was the last she heard anything about her parenting. You can tell she loves being a Countess but I am sure misses her youth even more. Hanging out with her much younger neice lets her be that "struggling model" she used to be. She is so boujey (sp?), you know what I mean right? Very ummm "Barbie, where is the Grey Poupon? I can't find it anywhere on this yaught and call me by my middle name Dick if you find it before me in your Lacoste dress with matching shoes!" She told B (Betheeny) that any "servent" or anyone is what she really meant is to call her Mrs Deldouchey or whatever her last name is. Get over yourself. She just seems fake.
Alex and Simon- Alex's hair is always a mess, I am surprised her gay husband doesn't help her out. He may not be gay, but I think he might be one of those guys that really wants to give the hetero life a good solid shot and at a pre-set age, stop whatever is going on and go full on homo. He LOVES his fashion, and come on, his name is Simon. Back to her hair, its always a mess, like she has a high powered fan above her front door like my local 7-11 does. Its just a fucking mess. Her husband and herself are oddly codependent on each other. I don't think they spend any time with their kids because they have an au pair. She names one of her kids Francois, I think I would even beat him up. Poor guy and they are soo proud of him, as every parent should but fuck. They need to cut him some slack, let his balls drop first. They claim not to be socialites or social climbers but all they want to do is meet people to climb that ladder. They call those kinda people "connectors". I think I hate these two more then Romeana. Yes. Yes, I do hate them more. Oh man and when he showed up at girls night, dayham. Simon is horrid. Alex is even worse. Keep them on the show so we can see how editing makes them "worse" then they really are. I hate them.
Bethany- is my kinda girl, known as the runaway bride, she has the hottest man, and hes a good one. He just won't commit. Whateves. I am definitly on Team Betheeny. She is hilarious, she has that total New York voice, I dig it. She can't stand Jill's gay husband (nor can I). She says if you look up token gay friend in the dictionary, there you have it. She even makes fun of Alex for naming her kid Francois and that her husband has homosexual problems. Fantastic. She has no regrets, she calls people out on their shit and shes down to earth. Prefection. I can't even remember half of the funny shit that she has said. She made the show, that is for sure! They should just replay the season and have her do commentary. I would do it with her. I can tell we would feed off each others energy. Each episode will most likely be two hours long though. I can't stress how much I love this bitch.
Here is one of my favorite clips with J and B, the end is the best!!
I have a few straight friends that are all about Rob & Big. I have recently caught a few episodes and the verdict is in... I LOVE this shit! I would do Rob sideways too!! I don't care that he is knee high from a pie's eye or however that saying goes. Bottom line hes short, but thats a-ok with me. I guess its the series finale or whateves, that kinda sucks. I mean they have a fucking mini horse. A mini horse! I think they are always stoned too and that makes good tv in my book. They are just ten kinds of crazy and a barrel full of laughs. LOVES it!
Here is a clip of the singin an Enrique song at the carwash...Do you know?? (skip to about 33 seconds)
Umm this is like the sexiest show on tv right now. Latin men, Aye Papi!! You need to watch this show. Its soo over the top and filled with beautiful people. They all got fucked up mexican names though. You put that many latinas in a room, there is bound to be some dramz! Throw in some tequila and lets play who do you think is going to get preggers. My bet is on at least two of them. Vinci (above) looks like Justin Chambers, YUM! I'd hit that so quick! He is a cocky motherfucker too, I eat that shit up! If Alexcy wasn't such a gay name and if he didn't come up to my knee, I would have hit that too! Enrigay doesn't really fit up to par to the rest of the papi's. Poor homo wants it so bad though. They even go to the chapel to say a prayer for the person they want to vote off. HAHA This show is muy caliente and I can't wait to watch what tacky thing happens next!
I love Top Chef, I really wish I was a better cook. When I am ready to eat, I am ready to eat. Sooo thinking ahead of time never works for me. I want food and I want it now. I get impatient, but I do not eat poorly, you just think of what are you eating and watch your portions. Instant diet. Never not allow yourself something, otherwise you are fucked! So you got your lesbians on the show right? Well this season, there seems to be more than usual. AND they are not to be fucked with. They are not only a minority being a woman in the kitchen, but they are also gay and probably more manly then most men back there. The women just really want a female to win the Top Chef title. This season I think it may just happen. There was a lesbo coule this season, last week one of them left. So the remaining half of the clam lovefest is winning this for her. Jennifer is pissed and on a mission. She is not happy Zoe is gone. Whateves.
It wouldn't be Top Chef without faux hawks! I think the requirement is at least six people must have them and they must be three inches in height. Mark is my favorite (pictured above), hes an Aussie AND he has curly hair. I LOVE CURLY HAIR!!! Spike and Ryan are the hotties of the season, the rest of the people I don't really know their names. This show always makes me fucking hungry though. Even when I ain't hungry, I start thinking of what I can create. Last week instead of puttin a ton of cheese between two corn tortillas and throwing it in the microwave like everyone else would, I got out my saute pan. I cut up some onions and sauteed them first, put them to the side. I mashed up half an avocado and made a lil guac for my side. Made the quesadilla in the pan, added some Tapatio in there as well and VOILA! I fucked it up while flipping it though, so umm I haven't mastered flipping. It was still good, better then the microwave. I think this show is like the longest reality competition show ever! It honestly lasts for like five months. They start with like 15 contestants. I think I would have enough time to go to culinary school and make it on time for season 5. If not, definately season 6. By then I will be the only gay guy with two straight guys, four straight woman and the rest? LESSIES!!! Excite!
I just want to say sorry for not saying anthing about Michael's departure. Dlisted.com said it correctly, American Idol does not like sexy. He was the only fuckable one of the bunch. So, your ass will be missed. Kisses. OK, opening number. Jason Castro, you sucked. I love you, but I realize now that I am totally blinded by those baby blue eyes. I still would love for you to serenade me every night, just never try to sing One Sweet Day EVER AGAIN!! Not even at my funeral. And he really likes the beach man. HAHA Carly and Lil David nailed it, I want those two and David Cook to be my final 3. Syesha will be in my final 4. Cocks looks like LeAnn Rimes' crooked cousin that always trys to get you to buy Tupperware. And hey man who has her horse and won't sell it back, I LOVE YOU! Brooke sang like a tranny who couldn't afford to take her estrogen for a few months. Elliot Yamin looks likes he is jonesin' for a fix, hes even got the sweats. He does have a beautiful voice, I am sure his mother is looking down and is very proud of him. Paula is wearing that damn HUGE rose around her neck, it looks mighty heavy her head keeps tilting to the right.
DEE-VAH! Moo Moo has no normal mic stand, that shit is diamond crusted. I am sure the air was turned way down during her performance, Mimi likes it at 56 degrees while singing. I got to give homegirl credit, she has worked hard for that body and she still has got a fucking voice. I just can't stand any of her music. Sorry gay latinos. I think we can all agree she needs a new stylist. Maybe her gays are too afraid to tell her its not 1998 anymore.
Now to my favorite part, COCKS HAS LEFT THE FUCKING BUILDING! Looks like the rednecks across America know Mariah is 5% African American too! I am kind of sad to see her go, now who can I hate on? I will make sure to check on what she is up to weekly to update y'all. Porn world, here she comes!! Brooke will be joing you shortly Kristy.
MooMoo blessed us with her presence this week on the idol stage. She doesn't like judging people on their singing, that's because she "knows" she is number fucking one. Five octaves, nuf said. I hate her but this bitch is a DEE-VAH! Lil' David is up first, he was so excited to meet Mimi because he listens to her all the time. HE looks like her fan base, gay Latinos. He did a good job, whateves, I don't want him to win. Its awesome that not one diva song is good enough for him, he had to choose the one song with Whitney. I think everyone is jumping on the fucking us with no lube bandwagon that Cocks started with the perfect song choice. They know and are very aware of who is voting for them. David A. also doesn't eat cuz of nerves, right. Nerves. He knows the camera adds ten pounds and so does showdaddy. Every time his dad comes on the screen I find myself giving him the stink eye.
I love me some Carly but she is starting to sound more and more like a girl at karaoke that has a small following but its only her drunk friends that are cheering. She is good, not an idol. On that note, she fucked up the song but I still wanna get into a bar fight with her over her buckteeth then make out and have another Irish car bomb. Simon is ALWAYS right, they need to replace Randy with Sharon Osbourne. Two brits are better then one. They can never get rid of Paula, they have invested too much money on the onset bar, pharmacy, hair salon and Coldstone for her.
I think Mariah spent the most time with Syesha because remember she is 5% black. I still think she has a wonderful voice and she did an excellent job. She will not win and it is a shame how much a popularity contest this has become. Brooke, go home. HAHA she is just a bun. I am so tired of her and she butchered that song up. That is one of my favorite Mariah songs. Sometimes I replace the word Hero with Faggot. Try it. Cocks fucked up another one of my fave songs. She is the Kelly Pickler of the season, but she has no personality. She is here to stay though, this cunt will make it to the final three. If she wins, I will boycott AI like I did when Fantascia won. I am over David Cook too! I think I know why now, he looks like a guy I hooked up with when I was beyond drunk a few years ago. I didn't regret it the next day, I did right after, he was not cute. At all! I did like his version a little bit though. Actually a lot of bit. He is so Daughtry and Simon loves it.
Baby Daddy does I Don't Want To Cry, I bet Mariah finds him to be pretty too and let him hold her diet coke for her while she slurped away. Why does every song my baby sings I imagine it around a campfire? Stoned. If he just did covers of a bunch of songs I would play them every time I smoked the manja and watercolored to his sweet, sweet, stoner voice. Paula could join me, she looks like she wouldn't mind me being naked while I painted, she would probably suggest I paint on her. Brooke needs to go home. Thats all I want.
If you are not watching this show, you are missing a ton of fabulous faggotry. They sent home the better half of my favorite gay duo James. Miguel don't have his sister no mo. I do not get why Michael didn't go home, after all he is "bisexual" so actually he doesn't exist. I kind of take the role of the closeted frat boy on this topic. If you are a bi male, you are gay, period! However, if you are a bi woman, than it is completely ok. I just don't think you can go one day with a dildo up your ass and a cock in your mouth to eating some chicks who-ha. I did meet a guy once who was truly bi, maybe its like that song "You're One In a Million". Elizabeth Berkley is only in like the last fifteen minutes of the show. This is unacceptable. I want her to give random pep talks like Tyra does on ANTM. She can talk about who was fucking who on the set of SBTB or how she trained for literally HOURS to do Showgirls. She will save her dancing on SBTB when it is down to the final three, that way she can relate to it more. I can already see the tears. Here is Nomi dancing at her first rehearsal, THRUST IT!
I love me some Christopher Walken, especially when he is on SNL. Homeboy is so awesome and such a diva he never needs to know his lines. He reads his lines from cue cards on the side and he doesn't care who knows about it. That is part of his charm. I bet when he does movies he just repeats "watermelon" over and over and they dub that shit in. GENIUS!! Here he is hosting SNL for his 100th time because he counts reruns. Love. It.
PS- I do a pretty good "WOWWHA" but thats about as far as it goes.
Let me just tell you how excited I am to see another Saved By The Bell character back in the lime light. Its like when I first discovered that buffing my toenails makes them shiny until your next visit to the local nail salon. I haven't seen homegirl Jessie Spano since her Lifetime movie. I just searched her on www.imdb.com and I guess she has kept herself busy with random tv guest spots. Go Jessie! One of the mo's on the show said they recognized her right away from the cult phenomenon SHOWGIRLS!!! He didn't mention SBTB though, luckily another mo did. Already there are people that stand out, this is episode number one, so I do not know names. There are a few people that obviously aren't as talented as the others and they need to learn to stop kicking in the air. One girl fucks up her ankle and goes home. Every reality show needs a girl to go home in an ambulance. They split them into two groups, the winning group and the elimination group. Winning group is up first and the show crybaby felt inadequate and ran off the stage in the middle of her performance. She was lucky she is safe from being eliminated. Miguel gets told to be more manly and asks 'Did I look like a fag?" The judge says YES! This is when I decided to tivo this shit for the rest of the season. The losing group ended up doing better then the winning group. I think Cody is cute. Jaime (guest judge) looks like Hoobie from Baywatch. Scary Spice (other guest judge) is fabulous and tells a black contestant who doesn't like hip-hop "But you're black" HAHA Them Brits. Audriana goes home this time, they should have played Donna Summers Last Dance as soon as Jessie says it. I look forward to this gay, gay show...
It's Idol time, was it Randy's day to talk or something? Why is he wearing those Asian bracelets I wore in 6th grade, even I was two years late on that one. I bet they are a gift from Ramielle, Randy looks like he would like to put his peanut sauce all up in her Pad Thai. Michael Johns is up first, again, nice ass, again you are just ok. We all get you are not from here and America is the land of the free, blah, blah, blah. Get off the American dream kick, that's Cocks territory. Now, I hate Fantascia, I knew I have heard the song I Believe before but wasn't sure where from. I think Syesha made it her motherfuckin' own. I love her voice. She should let Cocks pick her song selections otherwise homegirl is headin home. I do agree with Simon on her, she did lack emotion but it was still done well.
Baby Daddy Jason Castro sang Somewhere Over The Rainbow, smart choice baby. He knows his core audience, gays, young girls and hippie stoners. He is so damn pretty, I loved the song. I picture myself and a few close friends (by close friends I mean my stuffed animals but he won't know the difference) around a campfire stoned out of our minds listening to Jason Castro sing that song. Once it ends, cue the orgy. He kinda wears more make up than Ryan though, and thats no bueno. Was that Meatloaf in a Cingular commercial? I love it. Cocks with her Tanya Harding hair looks pretty ripped, Madonna ripped. I will admit she did a good job, I hate her. I would like to say again that ANYONE can sing country. She is here to stay. Wonderful. Sidebar, I just looked at Paula for the first time, Pilly looks great. Her corset may be enabling her to breath, thats probably why Randy is talking more. Or maybe its because he got a boost of confidence since he is on the cover of Diabetes Monthly. I tried to find a picture, no such luck.
David Cook, why does he make those don't get cum in my eye faces when he sings? Embrace the facial girl. And the hand message, gotta hand it to him, thats some Cocks shit right there. Finally someone else is mindfucking us. He was ok this week, not his best at all. Car-Car, why so pissy faced? How is this song inspirational? Maybe I am blinded by the Moulin Rouge version of this song and that was uber sad. Overall, I liked it, fuck you Randy and your "ok", not everyone is Mariah or Whitney and we KNOW you have worked with them. She should have thanked God after her performance, that way when she finds herself on the bottom 3, she will at least be safe. Lil' Davie sang one of my favorite songs ever, no fags not the Jessica Simpson version, Robbie Williams "Angels". He did a fantastic job, little shit is going to rule this competition. Senior gays stood up from their couch, clapped and hugged after his performance. I really am over his "Oh, me? Really? Thank you" routine. I know showdad told you to be modest but take it back a step, it looks scripted now.
Brooke is boring. I think Syesha or Carly is going home and this saddens me. I heard a rumor that if this seasons American Idol does not do well, this will be the last season. I doubt it, they got a good two more years of this shit. Peace, Love & Gossip!
PS- I picked that picture because I googled Inspirational and got this.
The next day you are out! Project Runway is leaving Bravo and heading to, hold on to your fucking hat, LIFETIME!!! Television for woman and gay men just got a whole lot gayer. I hope they drop Michael Kors, he looks too much like an oompa loompa dyke with a Fran Drescher voice. Everyone else needs to stay, Meana Godzilla, Heidi "I love Seal" Klum, and baby daddy Tim Gunn. I guess NBC (who owns BRAVO) is pissed off about the move stating they didn't get a fair chance to fight for the ever so popular show. So In true fashion, they are takin them to court. In other news, The Golden Girls is leaving Lifetime for WE, I know quite a few fags that will be disappointed with that. They need their Dorothy fix.
Ok, so I don't like how they do the show now. I can't put my finger on it, but its like it lost the magic it once had over me. Enter Rudi Polak, umm wow. They should just hire him as a host and keep the camera on him at all times, only showing the house in the beginning and the end. Thats all we really care about anyways. Rudi can just talk about his day, his shirt off of coarse, and if theres a pool swim nakee or sunbathe. Even if there is no pool, he can still lay out. He just seems like a mans man, hes got a hairy chest, natural tan, beautiful arms and I bet me smells like Old Spice. Mmmmm, ya he wears Old Spice, I hate Old Spice but I bet its good on him. I would look good on him. Or under him. Here is his website www.rudipolakdesigns.com Check him out, yum!
PS- That is a fountain not my "kids" on the pic, I swear.
Whateves, I guess she deserved it. I am just glad Perry lost, fucking loser. I am so done with that douchey. I am over Ben too, he is way too conceited. Ya, he fine and ya I wouldn't take his tongue out my ass but he is cut in my book. He didn't seem too excited to see his wife either. She looks like an owl and an English nanny bumped uglies and had a baby. I smell divorce papers. He is quitting his prison guard job, moving to the big apple, getting a job at Starbucks and pursuing modeling as a newly single man. Ten bucks he ends up doing gay porn with Ronnie. They will call it Make me a Superbottom: The Bromance. Ronnie is cute but hes not supermodel material. I guess it suits Holly best. Golf claps for Holly, can't wait to see you in the Sears catalog.
Ok, I was on the john this morning and listening to their song. If you don't know me that well, I apologize but I talk about my poop. So, everything is going fine like normal, but you know how you do your best thinking sitting there right? Well I was thinking of the slut of the group Aubrey and I know she has dabbled in the buttsex. In fact I am sure she prefers it, Diddy does not want a prego singer. Anywho, if you change just one word, k, let me repeat that, one word, it changes the WHOLE concept of the song. I figured she helped write this song, if not all on her own. Listen to the song below and everytime they say heart, you say asshole. Just listen, its fantastic!!
Sorry I had to, its Dolly Parton night!! Is Dollywood still around? I have a feeling that is something I need to experience before I die. Like I will experience some gay spiritual awakening, instantly coming in touch with my inner Dolly and her tah-tahs. She looks good, kinda like a wax figure that can move. Brooke White is up first, I think she did a fine job. ANYONE with a decent voice or even not so decent, can sing country though. That's why Kristy Lee Cock is on that band wagon and altering the minds of rednecks worldwide into voting for her. I hate her! David Cook is up next, he swears he is the same age as me. His rendition of Little Sparrow smells like Simon had a hand in that. He has got his fist so far up his ass. He wants a Chris Daughtry and he wants it BAD! In all fairness, I liked it. He continues to impress me. I am glad to see Paula wasn't allowed to dress herself this week. Remember that mess last week? You almost want to take her to Chuck E Cheeses for trying this week.
Ramiele has got a voice, she just needs to use it. She doesn't get comfortable until about halfway through and that is halfway too late. I am rootin' for her but she is not going to win this. Baby Daddy has got a crazy admirer in Colorado sending in a buttload of postcards. Get off my shit you stupid bitch! If you know whats good for you. Deep breath, ok...Jason Castro made me melt this week, fuck I love him and his hippy ass. He is so pretty. I am glad to see he didn't smoke the ganj before showtime, but you know he ran off that stage and hit that bubbler. Overall, I liked everything about him this week. My Irish love Car Car, her voice is spectacular. What an angel, I seriously need to get drunk with that girl. Is her man the guy with all tha tat's on his face. Ewww. Only one guy (and hes in porn) pulls it off for me. Google Ink Storm, it will make your day!
Lil David is getting fed by the spoonful what to say! What 17 year old is like that? So mature beyond his years. Maybe he is just that nice, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I am still jealous of his hair. He did well, I am sure he made a ton of elder gays, fat girls, and sure as hell daddy tear up. Sidebar, Blake Lewis HATES David Archuleta, he just jealous. He also hated on Sangina and how he didn't even make it on the show. He only did because of his sister. Blah, Blah, Blah...Anywho, Lil Davie did a great, great job. I fucking hate KL Cock! First of all, she got a Julia Robert's hairdo from 2001 and that dress makes her look more like a peacock than usual. They need to do disco night STAT so we can get rid of this herpe. She is nailin' the country shit and givin mad I will blow you eyes. Oh, don't play dumb, we are better at it then you. You were having cheer sex with him!
Syesha does one of my favorite songs ever. Love the yellow dress, love the hair, LOVE the song! Not give me goosebumps good, but this better wake up America. She is a force not to be fucked with. What is up with not wearing shoes on stage? I don't get it. She had better not be on the bottom three again. I forgot all about Aussie boy, I was about to wrap this shit up. I even forgot his name! Michael...Hmmmm, what does this tell you? He must have pissed off the stylist, why is that scarf there? All in all, he did a pretty good job. Sorry I forgot about you baby. Next time wear less clothes or say something sassy to Ryan. Again, go home Kristy. You will still be able to make mall appearances across all of Oregan. Just something to look forward to. Justin out!
Paris ate shit in Prague the other day. She tripped over her massive feet. You would think that nose would break her fall, but her chin took one for the team. You can just hear Benji saying "Please tell me you got that!" So Jimmy Fallon (SNL) of him.
New Kids On The Block are going on the Today show this Friday to celebrate their 20th anniversary of Hangin Tough PEOPLE reports. They are going to announce their possible reunion tour and they might even perform!! Does anyone care? Even a little bit? They should change their name to Men Around The Corner From The Donut Shop. I was never into them when they were big. I was too busy wondering who Amanda Woodward was going to fuck next. She is my idol. On that note, I never got the whole Michael Mancini thing. Ok, maybe one time I wanted to see what he had goin on under those scrubs, ONE TIME! In my defense, I did just have my first wine cooler with a vicodin chaser. Not my fault. Anywho, I hope Jordan Knight does his "hit" Give It To Me on the show. I am not sure what is more embarrassing. That I know that song or that I know the dance they do during the chorus. Thanks to Darren's Dance Groove (choreographer to the stars) and hours of practice, I nailed it!!
Now, I am not a hardcore fan of hers, buuttt...I know this mess will be back. She used to be the biggest thing EVER! And now, the man who created it all, her manager Larry Rudolph is back in her life. OK! Magazine is reporting he is now running the show again and Brit Brit is back in the studio. Her guest spot on How I Met Your Mother got crazy ratings and she wasn't even that bad. She just has that star mentality. Now I know you can take the trash out of the girl, but the can still stinks. And I am aware she is a frappachino and a cheeto bag away from being the crazy we all love to watch. Be that as it may, I would much rather see her doing well and being healthy. With that being said, I bet within a year she is back together with her kids and on top of the world. Zing!
They did it again, the UK has given us another wonderful import. Oh, how I love Adele. She is such a breath of fresh air. I heard of her a few months ago and I eagerly awaited her CD release here in the States. It finally came out today and I bought it on iTunes. I have this thing where I like to own the actual CD (as long as its under $10, not cuz I am cheap, thats just how much CD's should be). I am not a fan of stealing music. Anywho, I ran out of room in my CD cabinet so buying it off iTunes is the next best thing. I can deal wit it. I had only heard two songs prior to buying it, and wow, A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! Her voice just makes you smile. They just have no problem going outside the norm over there. Here we are soo focused on image over talent. Adele has talent and thensome. I think shes beautiful. Her voice even cracks in one of the songs and she somehow makes it the cutest thing ever. She is kind of like Amy Winehouse, I am not sure how else to explain her to you. Just listen and enjoy. I used to listen to this song on repeat when I first heard it.
Gael García Bernal is one of the sexiest actors out there. He is also one of the best and the most versatile. Too bad he's short, but its all the same laying down. I have only seen a few of his movies: The Science of Sleep, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Babel, Motorcycle Diaries, The King, and most recently, Bad Education. He needs to be in more mainstream films, he is truly a diamond in the rough. Did I use that correctly? Whateves, I was going to say he is a true gem, but I felt like my Grandma saying it. He is not afraid of frontal male nudity either, or showing off his perfect booty. That is not why I watch his movies though, its a bonus, but he really has talent. Foreign/Independent movies have so much more depth then American films. I think he puts some serious thought into the roles he chooses. So maybe its good hes not in the mainstream flicks. I hated The King, and The Science of Sleep is very, ummm interesting, you must watch. So, Bad Education was a really good movie. There are twists and turns and he even looks good in drag. Netflix it, its worth it.
Sorry I haven't been blogging, I have been super lazy. Plus it was my birthday and that was tons of F-U-N. I am watching Where Are They Now?: Reality Stars, WOW did Puck (first Real World) get OLD and rugged. Anywho, I don't want to write about that. Beyonce and Jay-Z applied for a marriage license today in NY People reports. I guess it is valid for 60 days. I highly doubt there is going to be a wedding that soon. There are so many things to do: pick out the correct wig/weave; her mama got to stitch together the perfect slutty but not too slutty wedding gown; Solange (her sister) needs to hand write each invitation if she wants to remain on the Bouncey payroll; Jay-Z has to wax his lips. Tons & tons of things, they need to breed more doves cuz there ain't enough on this planet for this soiree. I think Beyonce and Tina will give Celine Dion a reason to get married again and be even more over the top. She will pull Renee in his wheelchair down the bald eagled feathered aisle. Behind will be her son as the flower girl, following the bridal party. Because Celine comes first. Always! They will only play her songs at the reception too. Each time a new song comes on she will act surprised and take a bow. DIVA!
PS- In all honesty, I would love, LOVE, to have a threesome with Beyonce and Rihanna. I know it may seem like a lot of who-ha's to deal with but I got a plan. Since I think the vag is one of the ugliest things on earth, dealing with one is yucky, let alone two. However, this is Ri and B and I would give my left nut to be with them. So my plan is to have sex in front of a mirror. That way Beyonce will be distracted while I deal with Ri. Then, when I am ready for B I will just tap her on the shoulder cuz I can't touch her hair. I happen to like all my fingers.
On here, my first blog ever, I will express my thoughts on: "celebs", tv shows you should be watching or tv shows that are my guilty pleasures, movies, music you should know, lifes adventures and all that jazz. From a 25 year old gay guys point of view. You can disagree with me or not. Its just a blog people and I am told I am funny. At least thats what they tell me. But it usually follows with "you are lucky you're cute". Hmmmm...
