Jabbawokeez, I Love You!

Lil' Grandma whos new album drops April 29th is back to wearing hats. AND how does she go out, in syle...by wearing a wig with a ponytail that look like the biggest analbeads EVER! Mario looks fine as ever, he does not seem to age. Sexy! All dance crews returned to dance together and I loved it. You noticed why these two are still standing. Even though I still wish it was between Kabba Modern and Jabba. Status Quo impressed me during the reunion danceoffs, and Jabba did not. BUT when they danced together Jabba killed it. Fucking killed it! They won, they fucking won. Take that Status Quo, I bet they make an appearance on the Tyra show, they are so up her alley. They are a good dance crew, but Jabba is soo freakin innovative. They are fucking sick man. I cannot wait for Season 2 to start in the summer. They have a very big shoe to fill though, JABBAWOKEEZ for life eh!

Replace Seacrest? Never!!

Syesha is on the bottom 3, I told you she doesn't stick out, which is a shame. She has an amazing voice and lovely tah-tahs. Award for the most overdressed goes to Kimberley Locke. She does look great, but why was she wearing that dress. I always liked her, I just checked out her cd and eh. Kudos to losing the forty pounds! I did download her Band of Gold remix, very homoliscious. Chiquita is also in the bottom three, whateves. Who was that chick that called in and asked if he was single? His mom will do anything for him, what a doll. And hold my cock, baby daddy Jason Castro is in the bottom three???? I guess he needed that wake up call, he did suck pretty badly last night. No bongy before singy baby boy. Hes safe anyways, now go celebrate and smoke a bowl with Kristy Lee Cock. Lucky bitch, you are totally workin middle America, you shmuck! How smart the audience is you say Simon? She is manipulating inbreeds across the US of A. Goodbye Chiquita, like I said I won't miss you. Now make like a banana and split. LOL I apoligize I have had some wine.

<3
me

PS- Just for shits and giggles, my favorite PussyCat Doll..

A Day In The Life Of The Unemployed

Being without a job for as long as I have you start to notice more things. Not only does it suck not having a job, you can't just go out and do things. Things cost money. Money does not grow on trees contrary to belief. All of your friends work all day. You find yourself talking to your cat way more often then you should. I am not a phone person, but now that I have friends in Wisconsin I can at least start talking to people at 3pm our time. Daytime television is horrible, its not just a rumor, its true. I do however love 10 Years Younger. Them gays on that show are soo not subtle when it comes to pointing out your flaws. "You see this rouging up here in the mid waist? This is going to draw away attention from your bumps and bulges". Fat arms? No problem! "Wearing a three-quarter sleeve will make your arm appear to be smaller when its really not". They are ruthless! Love it!

I have been actively looking for a job since February. I took a two month vacation in Wisconsin and now it is time to get down to the nitty gritty. I look Monday through Friday, its totally a full time job. To make things harder, I am looking to get out of the mortgage industry and into something new and different. Thing is, I don't have any other experience in any other field and most companies do not want someone with a mortgage backround. I am now looking into going to school and getting a degree, but I need to fund school, so I need a full time job.

I wake up around 9am everyday and just in case my internal clock doesn't go off, my cat will wake me up. Her name is Abbey and I got her a month ago. She is seven months old and perfect. She wakes me up by walking all over me, purring and giving me massages. Then she gets more agressive, and plays in the blinds (right next to my bed) and holds them open to shine the light on my face. Mind you, the whole time she is holding the blinds open she is chasing her tail and making noise. If I decide to hit the snooze button on her again, she starts biting the toes. Bitch wants her wet food and she wants it now. I spoil the fuck out of her. So my day goes something like this: wake up, pee, eat with Abbey, clean the house (neat freak), work out, look for a job, lunch, shower, look some more, tv, dinner, look some more, and bedtime. Repeat. Of coarse my plans change daily, but thats the gest of it.

Today, I had an interview, so things were moved around. I woke up to my cat biting her leg while holding open the blinds. So I went to feed her, we race to the bowl, well, she does. I let her win. She is very talkative in the morning and anytime I return from leaving the house. Other than that, never a peep. I make my shake, turn on iTunes and clean the kitchen. I checked my email, returned some, deleted others. Checked my myspace, then off to the gym. Wow, I am even boring myself. Ok, so fast foward to my interview. I will not say who the company is, but I googled them and the only thing that came up was forums on how bad they are. I never saw a website or anything. I am already a little sketchy about the place. I walk in and see there are nine other people in the waiting area. We were going to do a group interview. I hate group interviews. The receptionist sends us all to a big conference room. All of a sudden a good looking slender white male walks in and greets us. He has a big voice and I am already naming our dogs. He starts giving this speech "Insurance, blah, blah, blah, commission, blah, blah, blah, sometimes cold calling". What? Hold the phone, I am not doing sales, let alone telemarketing or whatever the fuck. This sounds a lot like that movie with Giovanni Boiler Room. So I raise my hand and ask where the restroom was. I walked out and never looked back.

So instead I went and got my eyebrows done. Now, Carol has done my brows for about a year now, she does a great job. I just get them cleaned up boys, not really noticeable and I have a natural arch. Waxing isn't the hard part though. Its the fucking tweezing part that is painful. She gets all into it, she has the helmet with the attached magnified glasses and goes to town for what seems like twenty minutes. She gives a killer face massage after too! Despite the pain of the tweezing, I can fall asleep on the thing they put me on, everytime I have to fight to not fall asleep. After all that, bitch FUCKED UP MY EYEBROWS! She gayed them the fuck up, they are thin, not mexican fag thin, but thinner than I like them to be. It might be just my initial shock and they might grow on me, but its like my birthday month, and I know there are gonna be cameras. Can I sue? One time, before I started going to Carol this hooker spaced out my eyebrows by like two inches, I almost cried. What is up with the things the asians wear at these salons? They usually have nice expensive jeans and a top from the $2 bin at Forever 21. Horrid hair clips are also a must, and if not high end jeans, pinstripped pants or pajama pants. AND always, always high heels! Sexy.

Anywho, I think I have said enough. Looking for a job just sucks. I had an interview last week with this chick Shannon. She had to be in her mid-thirties and way fucking sexy. We had a two hour talk and about twenty-five minutes of it was business. She thinks her husband might be gay. She is having twins not her, she has a surrogate, but congrats to my new favorite MILF. She owns her one staffing company. She has hooked two of my friends up with jobs. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I am really upset I can't be the impulse buyer that I am. So wish me luck.

<3
me

PS- I was on my way to the gym in my complex and there are a ton of lizards here. They come in various sizes and scatter into the bushes when you walk by. Not this one today, it was huge!! I saw it in the corner of my eye and I had to do a doubletake. Its not that it was THAT big but it had a huge ass tail. So I looked at it, I got close and it didn't even move. It was almost like he was thinking "Have you seen my tail? What about it?" I took a pic, see below( thats a leaf in the middle of his tail). Hugs & Smooches!

Happy Birthday Jason Castro!

First of all, is Paula wearing gloves? Really? Gloves and an ice capades outfit? WOW, and that hair clip? I think she is channeling her inner "Material Girl". Moving on...Ramiele, I love my lil pinoy singer. I would marry her if she could make me some good Filipino food while singing me songs from the 80's AND if we can have our own boyfriends. Now fellow Aries, Happy Birthday Jason Castro, I heart you. I am not particularly fond of the name Jason, but Jason Castro is all good. Hes told he is an Aries, and not sure if he pronounces it right. It's okay honey, just be glad you can sing and that you look like a masculine yet soft lesbian that I wanna bone like crazy. Was it just me or did he seem a tad off? I know its his b-day but does he have to hit up the bar they built especially for Paula backstage or hit the bong right before he sings? He was not all there. Best part was when Ryan said "Thank you Jason" and he replies with "You too!" He did well but just not his best.

Syesha did a lovely job, she reminds me of Latoya the year that Fantascia won. She should have won that year, I never liked Fanty. That is why I didn't watch the year Carrie won. I boycotted AI for one year. Anywho Syesh does a great job each week, she just doesn't stick out enough for some reason. Her voice is beautiful. I can do without Chikezie, if he wants to stay in I think he should always play the harmonica. He needs that gimmick to keep him interesting, hes boring. On Oprah, Simon said Brooke was one his top 4 idols this season. Along with both Davids and Jason Castro. I didn't agree with him at the time, but she kinda redeemed herself this week. It might be just because I love that song. Other then her minor mishap in the beginning, I enjoyed it.

Michael where have you been hiding that energy? Great song choice and doing Queen, mighty ambitious but he did pretty well. His Aussie ass needed to wake me up, I kept hitting snooze hoping you would bring it. Car Car should have sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" like The Dan Band's cover. That would have been awesome. In all seriousness though, damn baby, favorite of the night, I love the Irish. Our lil David has a girlfriend? Really? Or did they show the person to daddy's left instead of right, where his boyfriend was? He did an okay job, I have never heard that song before though.

Kristy Lee Cock, shit man, God Bless the USA? She is totally mindfucking America into voting for her skank ass. Her eyes are dark like her soul and make up needs to wax her moustache. This was her best night yet, but I need her to get the fuck out. I got to hand it to her though, bitch is playing her cards right. Other David, nice twist on the song, he definitely has star quality and talent. I think if Simon has his way he would crown him the next American Idol. He is still pissed Taylor won and not Chris. So, I want Kristy gone. Kimberly Locke is on the show tomorrow night, EXCITING!!

Payless Here She Comes

These are Paris Hilton's new shoes. Sexy right? I don't think even my inner hooker would try them on for fun. She has crazy big feet, so they would probably have my size. Her and I should play who can pick up the biggest thing with their feet. She would win, birds do a lot of things with their feet and can carry up to twice their body weight. If these shoes are for tranny hookers that want to be like Paris, she needs to know that they are on a budget. She should lower the price and offer payment plans. Stems for head or something. No self respecting drag queen would be caught dead in these and I doubt any hooker would either.

Leatherheads

Puckerface at the premiere of her new movie Leatherheads. As you can clearly see Renee took the part very seriously. She injected herself with leather instead of the norm, lemon juice and botox that give her that signature puckerface look. Someone needs to tell her that shiny leather is never a good thing, its all about distressed leather. At least her eyes are open. The movie looks like it has potential. George Clooney stars in the film and is the director. John Krasinski from "The Office" also stars, love him! I hope this movie is better then his last movie with Mandy Moore "Licence to Wed". It was one of the worst movies in 2007.

The Return of Gaykin

On My Way Here is the title of his upcoming album, that's just too easy to fuck with. Does anyone still care about Miss Clay? I love his voice, but I am in no way a Clay fan. He is wearing a ton of makeup, couldn't they have airbrushed out the gay and freckles? They need to hire whoever does Madonna's shit. I don't get why Lindsey Lohan and Clay don't embrace the freckles, I think they are cute. He looks like a he might be one of Jodie Foster's fisting buddies.

On a side note, Yahoo is wondering if season favorite David Archuleta is the next Clay Aiken. Thoughts? And just for kicks watch Paula do what she does best...

JabbaWockeez Raises The Bar

Dude, last nights show was sick. I do not get why Status Quo had the most votes though. This bottom two should definitely be between JabbaWockeez and Kabba Modern. I have a lil confession to make, I have only really been catching the show randomly. It wasn't until this week that I recorded a few episodes so I can see them all. JabbaWockeez just brought it and some extra potato salad too. They were insane, and not just last night, but every show they killed it. I love Kabba, but I got a new man now and his name is JabbaWockeez. I will always have fond memories of you. I don't mean to play you like that, but its like I only heard your side of the story. So, NEXT! I will miss you and your animated, incredible dance moves.

Lil Mama finally didn't wear anything on top of her head. She must be reading. She borrowed one of Janet's wigs, its a step up, but baby steps. Again, she still looks old. She kinda looks like she should be in those new anti scare you into not doing meth commercials that "proves" to us that only gay people do meth. I actually know one of those guys, hes a bartender. Anywho, congrats to JabbaWockeez, I already know they are gonna take this competition!

Do Me Tyson

Tyson is hot and an idiot, son. He is however, why I watch, son. Perry, get over yourself and get over Amanda, I can't stress it enough people, do not get someones name tattooed on you, BAD NEWS! Amanda left you for Britney's ex because she was tired of sayin "Is it in yet?". Get over it girl, you should have realized thats why she left when the photographer made you tuck your junk. Holly was an early favorite of mine but I wasn't feeling her this week. Ben is so fucking hot, he is reason number two I watch. I can get past the ignorant things he says sometimes, its not his fault hes uneducated. What the fuck was Naomi Campbell doing there? She came in, looked at their portfolios, said "Oh how cute" and left. They must have caught her inbetween doing lines and throwing things. Ben is hot! Did I say Ben was hot? Good riddance Shannon, she is one of those girls that doesn't like gay guys, she bothers me. I understand that Ronnie is a bit of a douche thats past its prime but he did a good job this week. He does seem fake, but hes got that likeable face that you just want to pinch or shoot a load on. This week was very homoerotic. The models portrayed the four elements in their birthday suits (speaking of birthdays mine is in two days!). The shoot was so gay that they should have done the fifth element, love, with Ben and Ronnie. Yum! I just hope Perry doesn't win, we don't need another K-Fed in model form.

I Had Sex With A Porn Star

Well I don't think he was doing porn during the very brief time we "dated". What has got me all baffled is that the most memorable thing about him was how bad he was in bed. I have never been with anyone remotely bad until I met him. He was dirty and not in a good way. In a way that he went barefoot into Burger King right before asking me for $5. He was funny, cute, I wasn't looking for anything serious, so I didn't care all too much. One time he slept over and he went number two, which is fine, but he didn't try to cover up the smell at all and left the door open as to air it out or something. The smell was so bad that my roomate woke up from her nap and asked what the smell was. I nearly died of laughter. We basically parted ways shortly after that.

He is fun to have around at a party. Come to think of it, he was quite the whore, so this doesn't surprise me all too much. I always wonder if I am going to be watching porn one day, and boom, theres someone you know. I never in a million years thought it would be someone I slept with. I have however, seen like 3 guys on MTV's Next that I have made out with. Actually, he was on that show too, haha, its all coming back to me. Anywho, last Night I was on xtube when I discovered this. Rubbing one out helps me sleep at night, TMTH right Danny?

Well, I am checking things out, seeing whats new to the site. So I clicked on this video and it's a tad bit blurry. Its a good one, so I watch. Then I start to notice things, I have seen that tattoo on his shoulder, I know that voice, holy fuck me Batman, thats ******!! Of coarse I go to myspace to look his page up and myspace is down. Never fucking there when I need you MS. I no longer have his number, but do I email him, what do I say? I know what you did last summer? How does it feel to have one in your bum and one in your mouth? Help?!?!?! Just playing, I ain't going to contact him. Its just nice to know I can check this off my list of shit to do before I turn 25. Which is next week people! March 27th!! Justin Out!

<3
me

Dawn Summers to Join Gossip Girl Cast

Our lil Dawn is now joining the cast of CW's Gossip Girl. Originally Mischa Barton was up for the role, I guess she is too busy or too good for tv. I am way more excited for Michelle to join the cast. Apparently an ex of mine was on GG and had one or two lines in an episode that aired in December. I think he was lying. He also said Raven from "Thats So Raven" is his distant cousin. Anywho, Michelle is going to play some bitch that stirs up some dram on the show after a brief stint in rehab. Loves it! I am a HUGE Buffy fanatic! They should bring that back on tv. And just for shits and giggles, the Buffy Musical...

This Cost PEOPLE $6 Million

I hope they get their money back on sales. They airbrushed the shit out of her. Ain't it funny (haha puns) how J-Ho morphs into her current significant other. Its like she is a chameleon and she just adapts to her surroundings. With Puffy, she was all "hardcore" with her chola bandanas and lipliner. With Ben, she was less and less mexican with every breath she took. And now with Skelator, shes back to her In Living Color days. Everything, down to the sideburns, they are currently covered by some bad bangs but you can kinda see them.

Lohan Sex Tape

Above is back when I and the world loved Lindsey. Now to continue on her downward spiral to reality tv stardom, a sex tape. I guess it was filmed a while back when she was dating Calum Best. He filmed it on his cell phone and only sent it to a few friends and has NO IDEA how it got out. Really? Lohan claims she doesn't even remember. Here's some advice muffin, NEVER dye your hair blonde again, gain some weight and be healthy, stop the fake and bake (embrace those freckies), fire your momager, party in moderation, never step foot in the Ivy again, or anywhere on Robertson for that matter, and I think you can revive that career you have hanging on a thread. We miss you.

**UPDATE**
It's not her, it's not even Calum. LAME! I was kinda looking forward to it.

Should They Stay Or Should They Go Now?

Ummm, Ew, I canNOT believe that my girl was on the bottom three. Carly does NOT belong there, at ALL! America stop snorting your glue and get your shit together. This week we find out the mentors and I am not too excited. Dolly Parton, k, kinda cool; Mariah Carey, really? Really? She has got a voice, no doubt about it, but really? My boy, Andrew Lloyd Webber, I am not sure the young gays on the show know who this genius is. Neil Diamond, again REALLY?? Tonight is the return of the FORD commericals, how fun? Should they stay or should they go now? I love that lil' David is excited about the clothes. Again, I canNOT believe Carly was on the bottom 3.

I just know that the producers can only shoot Ryan from the waist up when he utters Jason Castro's name. Got to cover that semi, right? Kelly Pickler, what a delight, did you see her on "Smarter Than A Fifth Grader"? YouTube it, you will not be disappointed. Is anyone else glad that Elliot Yamin got his grill fixed? Next up for him, hopefully, is a gig with ProActive. Seriously though, Idol Gives Back is a great cause, so reach into your pockets and show a lil love.

Dykealicious Amanda joins Carly and fuckface Cook on the bottom three. Why isn't Brooke there? And hold the phone, Carly is married??? I still love her though. I canNOT believe that Christy is still there, she must give the best head this side of the Mississippi. This means Amanda won't even join the rest on the Idol tour. Boo, I really wanted to see her shoot bourbon on stage and say "Fuck you for voting me off so early, the exit is to your left."

Wino Nekked

Ummmmmmmmmmm Ew!

Bye Bye Break Sk8

Kabba Modern was on the bottom two for the first time EVER. Luckily they are in the top three, along with Jabbawockeez and Status Quo. Unfortunately, the skating team had to go. I agreed with the judges decision, and guess what y'all? Lil' Mama didn't wear a hat OR a bandana. She did wear sunglasses on her head though, I will let it slide. My BFF does the same thing with her weaves, they got to cover that weird line they get sometimes. Lil' Mama should call Beyonce and hook her up with some of her old wigs/weaves. She still looks old as fuck, poor thing. JC gayed it up with a skinny scarf around the neck, I love that fag. Tonight was Broadway night, and you know he was lovin' it. All four crews had a lil bit of a tough time mixing the two styles of hip hop and broadway. I thought they all did exceptionally well, especially my fave Kabba. They are also the only group with girls in it. I am surprised they were on the bottom two, they did excellent on Michael Jackson night. Get it together America. Watch the video below to see the whole hour long show (dancing only) in under eight minutes!! Including their opening number all together.

Twins Again....

Someone must be bottling up the water from New York and handing it out to the celebs. Everyone is having twins nowadays and the Jolie-Pitts are no different. In Touch reports that they are having a boy and a girl. I have a feeling that Jolie is built sort of like a cat, in a sense that she can have numerous baby daddies in one litter. One of the babies are Billy Bob's, lets hope its the girl, can you imagine what that would look like? At least Rumer Willis would have a friend that made her prettier. This is Brad's first son, you can already sign that kid up as the new Gerber baby.

Baby Daddy Jr

Shia LeBeouf missed a court appearance on Tuesday. I wouldn't recommend it though, doesn't he have people to go do things for him. Ya, but even his lawyer didn't show up! Apparently Burbank, CA has strict smoking in public laws. Which is why he got a ticket. So now there is a bench warrent out on his ass. I wouldn't mind being an independant bounty hunter and taking him down. Not before I give him a cavity search...with my penis. ZING!

Baby Daddy

Anderson Cooper says on his blog:

"On a personal note, I’ve been off for the last couple of days. I had minor surgery on Monday. A small spot of skin cancer was removed from under my left eye. I hadn’t planned on mentioning this, but I still have stitches and you’ll no doubt notice them tonight. Don’t want you to think I got into a fist fight with Charlie Rose."

I wish him all the best and here's to a speedy recovery!

New Mimi

Here is Mimi's new album cover. If I were her I would get a new waxer, thats quite the landing strip. I don't get why the gays like her. I can't stand her but I do love her 90's stuff. And here is my FAVORITE picture of Mooriah portraying her inner Miss Piggy.

Beatles Butchered Night Two

First up, good plug on your song Randy, kudos fatty. Now on to Amanda, does she tickle you in way that makes you want to be a lezzy? Me too! She did the best she could, I still say I love a woman with a husky voice. I wouldn't be surprised if her and Idol season one alumni Nikki McKibbin bump uglies and get their own realty show on VH1. Kristy Lee Cook, they added the Lee to make her sound more country. They want another Carrie, she is a MONEY MAKER. If you look into her eyes, she looks dead inside. Did she used to be a stripper? Paula needs to grow some balls and tell them they suck instead of her standard "You know what? You look great!" She did do better this week, not good by any means but her best yet. Oh, didn't her dress look like that ugly thing Jillian threw down the runway on Project Runway? The gold one on the finale, it totally does.

On to gay favorite young David, he remembered his words! Looks like his showdaddy cracked that whip. I love his hair. He did a fantastic job, of coarse. He seems so nervous during interview part, poor baby. Michael has a nice arse and a wrong song choice. I will be glad when Beatles night is over. Paulas ear thing backfired too. ZING! Whoa, Brooke is boring, she can't hit them high notes either. And it is ok to tell you how bad you were. It is ok, its ok. Its ok. Daughtry #2 David Cook, he is bald under them bangs. Y'all noticed that right? I did like his performance though, right down from the first note to seeing him play that guitar, you go boy. You go get you some Rogaine. I EVEN clapped for him.

Ca-Ca-Carly! I love her, she is my favorite girl this season. She did well this week. However, what was up with her maternity top designed by drag queens for drag queens. Yuck! I want to do an Irish Car Bomb with her. I like her so much, I would even hold her hair while she threw up afterwards. Now, my future ex-boyfriend Jason Motherfuckin Castro. He's not the brightest crayon in the box but I don't care. I even dig his I just smoked a bowl eyes. So dreamy. I loved his performance, and he even sang in French, fuck me sideways, I LOVE him! Syesha sang a very pretty version of "Yesterday", probably the best of the night. She is very talented, and WOW them boobies.

Chikezie was my runner up choice for the night, he worked that harmonica and it was a great song choice. I don't care what the judges say. It also might be because I love that song, regardless, I clapped for him. He looks like a cantalope with ears. Now I want some kiwi. Ramiele, I like her, shes very cute. She was a lil bouncy bounce this week while singing. What you may not know, is thats just how us Asians sing. We bounce, we bounce and never to the tempo of the song. Vote for who you want to go home on my page.

Which Would You Hit?

I should rephrase that, which STD would you like to experience? Would any woman in there right mind want to have sex with a tall manorexic midget with gold teeth? He is a winner, did you know hes the father to seven bastards? This season at least the woman look like they might be into a man like Flav. The woman have many things in common, all are well into there late 20's but look close to their 40's. They have all experienced a c-sections, can't mess up thier money maker. They know what its like to have different baby daddies and they enjoy pigs feet. Seriously though this season is the cream of the crop. If by cream, I mean strippers and by crop I mean the ones you find at your local strip club on a Tuesday morning. Hotlanta is featured up above. Sorry. These girls all fight about who is there for flav and who is there for fame. Fame right? They all strive to be New York. Can we say spinoff? No one intentially wants to catch crabs, but if thats what it takes to be a realty whore, then more power to you hookers. I have no idea why I watch this show. Its a nice reminder that I am not as stupid as I think. If you ever want to feel better about yourself or just enjoy the mindless noise in the backround, try this show or The Girls Next Door.

GAY GAY GAY

Which undercover gay work-aholic host is on the new cover of a magazine for undercover gay men? You guessed it, the hostest with the mostest Ryan Seacrest. This magazine goes to great lengths to butch up its in the closet homos celebs. Did you see when Zac Efron was on the cover? Not a stitch of makeup and looked like he might just let his shoes get a lil muddy. I am super surprised this queen let the word "gay" be on the cover, but it also says "He knows what we think of him" You go on just keeping us guessing Ryan, so Anderson Cooper of you. Anderson, is that not the hottest piece of ass on tv today? Besides Flava Flav of coarse.

Kristin Davis doin' Gods work...

There are rumors of a sex tape going around of good ol Charlotte in some unCharlotte positions doing unCharlotte like things. This picture looks like her but the other pictures do not look like her at all. Rumor is now that these were takin by an ex of hers and there is no video, just pictures. This publicity stunt came out just in time, the movie is out in May. Anyone else excited? Anyone else think its too late? Anyone else thinks its like the homecoming court showed up a lil to late for the dance with their cool mom Samantha? I know I am going to go see it. Here is the trailer, and say it ain't so Kristin. Actually, you are my least favorite on the show, so this kinda bumped you up with some cool points. Kudos!



PS- I hope Steve didn't cheat on Miranda, he is my second choice if Aiden denies me his hand in marriage.

**Update**
Turns out the photos are real folks and from 1992, TMZ is reporting. I'm a lil shocked, but makes sense, who has that much hair on their who-ha? It was on the rage in 1992, I'm sure of it. Well this should make some straight guys not mind going to see the movie with their girls.

Tranny McGuyver

This is Willam Belli, he is best known for his role on "Nip/Tuck". This is my new favorite tranny. Previous favorite was New York.

Just Cuz...

Here is my ultimate fantasy grabbing what I call heaven. If he was a mute, he would be perfect. Have you heard him talk? Its like he's constantly getting kicked in his junk to get that high pitch. It is most likely some kind of devise to keep his dick in his pants that cause the higher voice. Posh ain't a stupid woman, she knows he fucked that nanny or whatever, but would you divorce him? Don't lie!

Scientology Does A Body Good

How come not all of them are crazy like Tom Cruise? Is it only the repressed homosexuals in the cult? If thats the case, shouldn't Ashton be too? I kid, wishful thinking. Here is Ash fillin' out them Calvins in the new issue of V Man. Yumm-o!

Update: Hes in Kaballah, right? My bad...

Do not Drink and iTune

I was home alone the other night and I had a few beers with dinner. Normally if I am home alone and have a couple drinks I turn on the Scissor Sisters CD and just sip my wine. Sometimes I watercolor, or do some sort of crafts project. I'm really not as gay as I sound. Then I know I have a good buzz when I get on my phone and start buying ringtones. It never fails, EVERYTIME. I rarely have the house to myself, so when I do, I do some weird things.

Anyways, a few beers in and I was on itunes to see what new music was out. There was a banner for "Idols on Sale $7.99". I just wanted to check it out. I have this thing where I like to own the actual cd & artwork but I won't spend over $10. Only CD I spent more on is The Phantom of the Opera and Mika. It's not because I am cheap, I just don't think CD's should be more expensive then that. This applies for DVD's as well. I almost nut in my pants when I see a sale for dvd's BUY 2 GET 1 FREE. Its the little things.

So I preview Blakes, turns out is was the only one I checked out. I already have Taylor, Kelly and Carrie's CD's no one else really matters. Except you Clay. I admit I was a Claymate for a bit, not one of them fat bible thumpers though but enough to enjoy his voice the way only an 80 year old woman could appreciate or a girl who eats her feelings. Oh and one hit wonder Kimberly Locke, shes fab. As I previewed Blakes CD, I fould myself movin my head to the beat. I think I am going to like it.

After buying it and listening to it all day, I think I love it. Is his voice limited? Yes! Is he the best ever? No! Is this better than Maroon 5? Yes! A thousand times yes! His single "Break Anotha" isn't the strongest song. So don't base his cd off of that. Check it out, if you don't like it, then fuck you! ;)

<3
me

PS- How bad is his case of gayface up above?

Halle And The Hot Model Create...

Nahla Ariela Aubry. Sexy Halle and her hot model boyfriend had a baby this past weekend. Lets hope that the two hot people, ugly baby curse does not apply here. Poor Rumer Willis. I like the name...sorta.

PS- I hope everyone had a fun and safe St Patricks Day, I know I did. More to follow..

Make Me Bored

I just watched last nights Make Me A Supermodel. Blah, I just want to know who wins now. They are down to the final five. This isn't one of Bravo's best, its still slightly entertaining. Perry is really annoying, hes an aspiring actor and a bad one at that. Then that story with his "girlfriend" and Britneys ex, somebody is REACHING. Hes so over the top, hes not even hot, hes average. He has that Michael Jackson nose and has this kinda Ace Ventura persona. Ronnie, the token gay guy, hes cute, not supermodel material. Ben, is every gay guys wet dream and thats why his ass is still there. He has been on the bottom 3 more times then anyone. Hes just eye candy and can only provide one look. The who farted look made famous by soap stars. He is a prison gaurd and I bet he abused the power he had taking a turn with each of the prison bitch boys. His wife screams fruitfly. Holly is one of the remaining girls and I think she is gonna win. She just has that look, but she also looks like a 12 year old boy whos balls haven't dropped yet. Shannon is the other ladie of the house and she used to be my early favorite. I cant stand her now. She looks like a foot.

This episode Nikki took the models to New Orleans. She had them help build a house for a woman who lost her home due to hurricane Katrina. They were there all day and by all day I mean long enough to get enough footage. Of coarse Holly cried and tried to explain to the homeowner how faith works. Dumb bitch. Watching Shannon and Perry trying to look and act like they care was like watching someone thats constipated and likes it. Shannon and Ronnie are on the bottom two, I hope Shannon goes home because I would love to see Ben and Ronnie finally makeout. I am just glad Frankie is gone. Justin Out.

This Bitch is 50 This Year

Madonna's new album cover, hmmm, I can't decide if I like it or not. She continues to amaze me with that rockin body of hers. Too bad her age shows in her hands. She should talk to Cher and her doctor's. Cher is 62 this year and looks FABULOUS from head to toe. I give her a few years though till her va jay jay is her new belly button. Can't wait for her Vegas show.

I hope this Madonna CD is good, she collaborated with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, but Madonna seems to love that techno shit and you know shes the one with the final say. Not only does she have bigger cock and balls then JT and Timba, but she has no problem reminding them who the fuck she is. I wish she would go back to her old stuff though, ohhhhh father. Regardless, you know I will buy the album and probably be sick of it a week later.

Her husband Guy Ritchie has been MIA lately. DUH, for more publicity, thats why Madonna has been whoring herself around everywhere and without him. She wants this album to sell like mad. Isn't Guy gay? I heard rumors about him and buddy Jason Statham. I would give my left nipple to watch those two bump uglies. Jason looks like he knows how to give it to you good.

Annnd back to the cover, there was a time when this bitch was so innovative. Hasn't this look been done? Since fashion repeats itself, shouldn't music do the same? She should quit the tech-no and try something else. We will love it all the same, shes Madonna.

Minnie Prego

Minnie Driver announced she was preggers on Jay Leno. She was on to promote the second season of her hit show "The Riches". I love that show. Its like nothing that has ever been done on tv. I have to hand it to FX networks, they have a bunch of great shows. Theres "Dirt" with Courtney Cox, she has done an outstanding job distancing herself from her role as "Monica". That is initially why I tuned in. This season is kinda tacky so far but I bet it will get better. They have "Nip/Tuck", which is probably the gayest show on tv right now besides "Project Runway". Lastly "Damages" with Glenn Close, and that shit is fucking good. Its a lil slow but wow.

Anywho, "The Riches" is not only funny, but smart and heartwarming. You end up feeling for them and they are the con artists. All they want is the American dream. Eddie Izzard is fabulous, hes just a genius. I loves him in "Across The Universe". Minnie is amazing, I just hope she doesn't sing on the show. On "Phantom of the Opera" she lipsynched, just a lil FYI. They have 3 children and the youngest is a lil boy who enjoys to wear girls clothes. Its just good stuff. Tune in this Tueaday.

Tylenol PM Dreamin...

I couldn't sleep last night so I took two Tylenol PM. I lay there in bed and watch "Spice Up My Kitchen" it was really interesting but the host did not have a good teeth/gum ratio. They used oil rose bronze steel appliances. Anyways, the whole half hour show goes by and I am not tired yet. So TV goes off and I lay on my side. I lay there thinking to myself, this shit don't work. It is only my third time trying these pills. Before I know it I am asleep and awake in the same position. That never happens. Anywho, I sleep with these putty earplugs to block out noise (I am a light sleeper). Sometimes I wake up and one has escaped and is somewhere on my bed.

On to my dream and the good part. I am at some huge house and my mom is there making dinner. She is making a glazed ham, I hate ham. Michael Jackson is also there, not sure why and Vicki from Small Wonder. I go into the kitchen to see when dinner is going to be ready and she has just pulled out the ham. I guess she made it some way where it was going to change my opinion on ham forever. Unless she figured out how to turn ham into a medium rare filet mignon, I ain't buyin it. She cuts off a piece and hands it to me, I dont want it. She keeps shoving it in my face. I take a bite, wait for it, and I wake up. I had taken a bite out of my earplug. Eww.

Parisite Hilton

No, thats not Kelly Bundy, thats Paris Hilton. She borrowed moms hooker shoes and leopard bike shorts from the 80's, how innovative. Not all 80's fashion comes back. B- for effort, and white shoes make her hooves look ever bigger. She needs to be shot already and made into glue. Why is she famous again? Her new show on E! sounds like shes gripping onto her last minute of fame. She is looking for a new best friend, a regular person. Blah, blah, blah. I know I will be tivoing it hoping the real "talent" Nicole Richie makes a cameo and some much needed comedic relief.

Mika

Those pics are from the Troubador in West Hollywood a year ago this month. I was right in front with my "Kiss me Mika Its My B-day" t-shirt on (b-day is March 27th btw). And guess what? He did kiss me, at the very end, on each cheek. He also signed the poster I stole off the wall and took a few pictures with me. They turned out bad, thats why you got them above instead of us. His debut album is amazing and I can't wait for him to make it big here in the states.

Bravo, Bravo

Top Chef premiered last night, just in time too. Project Runway is now over (I hate that we have to wait a year for the next one) and congrats to Christian. He needs to retire "F-I-E-R-C-E", its tired, in fact it should have been done when Abercrombie & Fitch came out with a cologne called FIERCE. That was YEARS ago too. I loved me some Rami, if he wanted to win he should have been ok with tossing Tim's salad but its against his religion. Anywho, Bravo is smart by keeping their hits coming one after another. Just like the FX Network. So smart they are.

Back to Top Chef, it looks like a promising season. There is a lesbian couple this season. Good job on trying to out gay Project Runway, but its never gonna happen. Kudos to you anyway. They are goin crazy with the *bleep* button and they are keepin them on their toes. I am horrible with names, but the guy with the mohawk (not the lesbo), I can already tell hes the villian this season. Not only did he take two deep dish pans (one in case he screwed up) but that meant that someone had to improvise and use a skillet. Then that same skillet guy gets teamed up with mohawk guy in the next challenge and skillet guy gets fucked again. Mohawk says there is no mayonaise, and it is a key ingredient for the crabcakes they are making. So Mohawk tells Skillet how to make mayo as he pulls out his own jar of mayo. What a putz. After Skillet makes the mayo, Mohawk hands him his jar. You know that is just what Connie Chung and Maury Povich's marriage is like. Fuck you get your own mayo Chung. I look forward to this season like mad.

<3 me PS- When does The D-List start again?

Dangerous Muse

This duo is based out of New York and only has an EP out right now. Its available on iTunes. I heard about them like 2 years ago and I eagerly await their first CD. They never come out here to do shows either. Not that I know of anyway. They were my gateway into electronica music. I was never really a fan before I was introduced to DM. So check, check, check it out, check it out.

MJ not homeless

He was able to refinance his beloved Neverland Ranch. How does this keep happening? I still don't get how he has no money. Hes fucking Michael Jackson. I was looking forward to sneaking into the auction. I don't know why he wants to keep it. He doesn't live there. There must be secret tunnels we don't know about underneath. Its easier to sleep with his children in the bed abroad anyways. He should just sell out and do a reality show on E!. They can move him and Paula Abdul in together and work on their comeback albums. I know you'd watch.

Sheryl Crow joins the mothership?

She had one of them there stickers them Scientologists have on their car. Hmmmm? Thoughts?

90210 Comeback?

The CW is in the talks of doing a spinoff of the 90's cult phenomenon 90210. Really? Are we really out of ideas? I wasn't a fan, I may have caught it from time to time. I was more of a Melrose Place whore. I think I was the only one in grade school who watched the original spinoff of 90210. Monday nights, no one was allowed to speak while it was on. I had a HUGE crush on Billy. How my mom didn't know, I have no idea. Guess I hid it well. I did say Amanda was hot a bunch, but I think I just wanted to be her, a nasty bitch. Anywho, if they do a spinoff, they should bring back the cast as the parents to the new high school class. They are that age now ya? It might be kind of hard to say they are their older siblings. Andrea and Dylan would definately be old enough to be parents to 16 year olds. Heres Billy in a towel, its in spanish, just mute it.

Asian is the new black...

Dude, they are killin on America's Best Dance Crew! (Kaba Modern, you my new best friend) I havent jumped on the dance craze reality show band wagon but for some reason I keep catching this show. I hate watching live tv, I tivo everything to skip through commercials. What I hate even more is MTV shows, VH1 is a different story and thats a whole other Oprah. This show is just good mindless fun. AC Slater is hotter than ever and I miss JC in the spotlight like no other. Why does Lil' Mama look like Lil' Grandma? Isnt she like 15? Shes always wearing bad synthetic wigs and covers them with headbands or hats, I dont get it. She looks like Jada Pinkett Smiths older sister.

Team Jason

Let me tell you girl, I LOVE the hair, hes so pretty and I just wanna kiss him. Hes adorable and he sang one of my favorite Beatles songs. He can serenade me every night or just talk to me until I fall asleep. I wanna have rough, rough sex with him and pull on his fucking hair. Grrrrr WHOA, umm sorry. Its kinda gross that all you gays love David, ya hes cute but hes a lil boy. Get off it peddis. Anyways, he did well, despite the missed words. I heard he has a showdad, so I feel for the kid. I also love me some Carly, shes Irish fun and Simon compared her to my girl Kelly.

David Cook, I dont get why the judges like him. Are they still pissed that Daughtrey didnt win and now hes "HUGE"? Get over it, Taylors CD is actually good. Ok, sidenote, I was in Walmart ther other day, k, embarassing enough right? Well, Taylor was actually playing on the radio and I heard the person behind me ask who it was and I turn around and go "Umm Its Taylor Hicks". Moving on, Brooke, shes good, not great, but good. I hate when people go on stage barefoot though. Kelly does it I know, but shes Kelly.

Now on to the stripper who got fired on his day off (How Friday), he needs to go home and they need to bring back Danny as a wild card. Did you notice how is eyebrows danced better then him? I feel bed for the gays in AZ puttin money in them g-strings. Now the tranny Amanda, I love her voice. She aint gonna win though and I have a feeling theres gonna be a sex video "leak". Did you like her Beetlejuice pants?

Michael, Michael, Michael, hes cute and likeable, I enjoyed his performance. You just know Ryan and him are knockin boots. By the way, is Paulas show coming back? I need to watch some more of that mess. Kristy Lee Cook needs to go home back to her boyfriend/cousin. Is she kidding with that top? I really like Sheysa or whatever it is. Chikezie is black Taylor. And the asian girl is good. Sorta. So, to wrap this up, I want Danny back, he makes good tv and hes not a bad singer. We had that curry queen Sangaya last year, why not have the new and improved version?

<3me>

PS- Discuss....