Brace yourself and hold on to your fucking hats bitches! The one and only Cher is on motherfuckin' Oprah! Oh, Tina Turner was there too! Diva in here own right but OMG CHER! I honestly go ape shit feather boa gay when Cher comes on. She can just sit there and I will have a grin on my face from ear to ear. I am watching it laying down on my couch yet feet are shaking, hands are in the air, I am singing (its also 1130pm) and loving every minute of it. Cher is truly my one big gay vice. OK, theres more then one, shut up. I cannot stand Oprah, but I have watched her show twice in a week. I watched last week when the cast of Sex And The City was on. What a waste of time. I am really excited to see the movie, but its kinda 2 years too late, right? Girls look TIRED, except Charlotte, but who cares about her. I only like Miranda because of Steve, shes cool by association. Actually, Miranda is the most logical and sane of the bunch. I like her. I just changed my mind. YAY! Still too late. Come to think of it, I forgot I hated Carrie until just this second. Ever since that bitch broke Aiden's heart, she fucked up and she fucked up good. Whateves my ass will be in the theater opening day drunk on cosmos and probably skiing with two of my friends. HAHA
Anywho, OMG CHER!! So I don't care how tacky her fuckin Bob Mackey clothes are, she rocks the fuck out of it. She knows there are a TON of drag queenies imitating her legendary ass and she is not one to be upstaged. This hooker has been in the business for over four decades! She has an insane amount of awards: Grammy's, Golden Globes (yes, GlobeS), an Emmy, a Tony, a FUCKING Oscar! Here's a spoon, eat up bitches, not many people can compare to the diva herself. No "pop star" nowadays is anywhere near her status. DIVA! I have never seen her live, EVER! I do not care how much it costs I am going to see her fabulous self in Vegas. Or as Oprah would say LASSSSSSSS VEEGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Somebody shoot her please. I bet she has gold for blood. Oprah wipes her whoha with $100 bills. She douches with diamond infused water from Fiji. What I am sayin is, she has money. I ain't mad at her, once they legalize gay marriage Gayle better jump on that shit. Sidebar, I hate Gayle's wigs! It's always the same one and its orange, Oompa fuckin' loompa orange! I guess that's what Oprah likes to see between her legs. She probably makes Gayle recite songs from Willy Wonka or maybe throw out Carrot Top jokes while she licks the poon.
Whoa. Sorry.
Cher is 61 years young and lookin fabulous. I know she has had work done, we all know. She talks about it, but in no way do I think she looks like a science project gone awry. I was watching this on ABC 7 and you know how they have the annoying pop-ups during the show? Well this time, not once but twice I think ABC News took a jab at my baby mama Cher. First they scroll NEW COSMETIC SURGERY LAW? Haha. OKAAY. Then, then the next pop-up HIGH TECH WEIGHT LOSS BELT. Ok, maybe the latter isn't as funny but it made me giggle and want to blog about it. Deal with it. On a closing note, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Cher! I cannot wait to see her in LASSSSSSSSSS VEEEEEGGGGGGAAAAASSSSSSSS! Hopefully more then once, preferably five times. Yes, five times. Pulling. It. Off.
Here is Cher performing. Loving the outfit! Loving the dancing! Now, pay attention to her dancers, I think they hafta hold the old bag up. How is she going to do this for three years? For two hundred shows?? Who cares, she can roll around in a wheelchair as long as she is Mackeyed out and singing, I DON'T CARE. Diva!
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