Team Syesha

I will take Tonight's American Idol for $300 Alex. Judge's choice, producer's choice and contestant's choice. What are three mistakes? Correct! That may be a bit harsh but whateves. Lil Archie sucks, I am so over that little snot. He is the same ALL THE TIME. He needs to be kicked off. I would like to see him think he was safe and give his gee golly look and then realize he got kicked off. Only then will we see the true tween diva David come out and he will drop the f-bomb. By f-bomb I mean he will say "It's cuz I'm a fag huh?" That is not his stage dad, that's his stage husband. He sang a Chris Brown song, Lil David should never be allowed to utter the words "my boo" or "lil mama". It's just wrong. I think he needs some iron, bitch is more pale then my vegan neighbors. Seriously, they are pale, I am going to start marinating tofu in beef fat so they can eat some meat. We live in California, no one should be able to see your veins. Back to Archie. Over. It.

David Cook, ok, I like him a little bit. He sang Roberta Flack and I actually enjoyed his rendition. He also sang a Switchfoot song, I like that song. A lot! So I kinda had to like it. He sounds the same too, but I think he has more range then Archie. He has more appeal and bitch is not 25 years old. I know that mo' is at least 29. Fucking Aerosmith, you clever, clever producers. Duh, America is going to eat that shit up. This 30 year old retard cousin of Carrie Underwood just might win this competition. I think he has more star potential then Archie.

I am definitely on Team Syesha, ever since my Carly sadly left us. I know it may have seemed I was on Jason Castro's team, but I was blinded by pretty skin and dirty dreads, two weaknesses. He was never going to be idol but I would still do nasty, dirrty things to that boy. She did Alicia Keys and I was LOVING IT. She did Fever and I thought it was a tad bit theateresque. She is an actress, so what can you expect? Fuck you Paula btw, she is (hopefully) making it to the final two. Unfortunately I don't think she will but I will keep my fingers crossed. I will probably be watching live tonight for once. I am excited for this shit to finally end. It seems to just keep going and going. They need to take the tight leash off the idols and let them be themselves. No one is as goody two shoes as the producers of AI like to make us think. Give me back Danny Noriega. Ohhhh Idol All Stars, that will be ratings GOLD! It can be: Princess Danny, Frenchie, Clay Gaykin, Jason Castro, Amanda Overmyer (Elvira), Justin Guarini (HAHA He was in the audience last night), Nikki McKibbin, Ryan Starr, Corey Clark, Kimberly Locke, La Toya London (I lOVED her), Ace Young, Taylor Hicks, Kellie Pickler, and Sanjaya (just for cat fights between him and Danny). How. Fun. Is. That????????

Shia Goes Gay

My prayers have been answered and hello heaven! I love this man but I think I am starting to notice why so many people call him a douche. He just kinda looks like one. It's like when you see someone and you just know you don't like them. Yet, you have no idea why. Just like that, only when you see someone that looks like a douche, you just know it. We each have our own guidelines on what a true douche is. So he is a douchey, whateves. I would still hit it, I would wreck that chick! Here is my big douche doing the best he can on SNL. Seriously, they need Tina Fey back, she at least pulled in some laughs. SNL hasn't really been a good quality comedy show in quite some time. Sad face.

Blah, Blah, Blah

Soooooooooooo, I love this show. However! S did not kill nobody! Skank Georgina decides to videotape her BFF S and some random guy bump uglies. Serena isn't into it and tells the guy to do another line, he overdoses. Not her fault, maybe she shouldn't have left but she was sixteen. At least she called the cops. She also didn't sleep with anyone, despite what the previews made you think. If Dan falls for G's stupid Sarah bullshit, then he truly is as dumb as he looks. He is soo whiny, move on S and become a bad girl with B. We need more Chuck in our lives, Nate should always be shirtless and Eric (S's gay little bro) needs to have something gay going on at least every other episode. Where was Jenny? Visiting Mom? Random. Lisa Loeb sang her one hit wonder song, fab! Anywho I am sad to say that next week is the season finale, but I look forward to the extra long season in the fall. Super.

Don't Get Much Gayer Than This....

Brace yourself and hold on to your fucking hats bitches! The one and only Cher is on motherfuckin' Oprah! Oh, Tina Turner was there too! Diva in here own right but OMG CHER! I honestly go ape shit feather boa gay when Cher comes on. She can just sit there and I will have a grin on my face from ear to ear. I am watching it laying down on my couch yet feet are shaking, hands are in the air, I am singing (its also 1130pm) and loving every minute of it. Cher is truly my one big gay vice. OK, theres more then one, shut up. I cannot stand Oprah, but I have watched her show twice in a week. I watched last week when the cast of Sex And The City was on. What a waste of time. I am really excited to see the movie, but its kinda 2 years too late, right? Girls look TIRED, except Charlotte, but who cares about her. I only like Miranda because of Steve, shes cool by association. Actually, Miranda is the most logical and sane of the bunch. I like her. I just changed my mind. YAY! Still too late. Come to think of it, I forgot I hated Carrie until just this second. Ever since that bitch broke Aiden's heart, she fucked up and she fucked up good. Whateves my ass will be in the theater opening day drunk on cosmos and probably skiing with two of my friends. HAHA

Anywho, OMG CHER!! So I don't care how tacky her fuckin Bob Mackey clothes are, she rocks the fuck out of it. She knows there are a TON of drag queenies imitating her legendary ass and she is not one to be upstaged. This hooker has been in the business for over four decades! She has an insane amount of awards: Grammy's, Golden Globes (yes, GlobeS), an Emmy, a Tony, a FUCKING Oscar! Here's a spoon, eat up bitches, not many people can compare to the diva herself. No "pop star" nowadays is anywhere near her status. DIVA! I have never seen her live, EVER! I do not care how much it costs I am going to see her fabulous self in Vegas. Or as Oprah would say LASSSSSSSS VEEGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Somebody shoot her please. I bet she has gold for blood. Oprah wipes her whoha with $100 bills. She douches with diamond infused water from Fiji. What I am sayin is, she has money. I ain't mad at her, once they legalize gay marriage Gayle better jump on that shit. Sidebar, I hate Gayle's wigs! It's always the same one and its orange, Oompa fuckin' loompa orange! I guess that's what Oprah likes to see between her legs. She probably makes Gayle recite songs from Willy Wonka or maybe throw out Carrot Top jokes while she licks the poon.

Whoa. Sorry.

Cher is 61 years young and lookin fabulous. I know she has had work done, we all know. She talks about it, but in no way do I think she looks like a science project gone awry. I was watching this on ABC 7 and you know how they have the annoying pop-ups during the show? Well this time, not once but twice I think ABC News took a jab at my baby mama Cher. First they scroll NEW COSMETIC SURGERY LAW? Haha. OKAAY. Then, then the next pop-up HIGH TECH WEIGHT LOSS BELT. Ok, maybe the latter isn't as funny but it made me giggle and want to blog about it. Deal with it. On a closing note, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Cher! I cannot wait to see her in LASSSSSSSSSS VEEEEEGGGGGGAAAAASSSSSSSS! Hopefully more then once, preferably five times. Yes, five times. Pulling. It. Off.

Here is Cher performing. Loving the outfit! Loving the dancing! Now, pay attention to her dancers, I think they hafta hold the old bag up. How is she going to do this for three years? For two hundred shows?? Who cares, she can roll around in a wheelchair as long as she is Mackeyed out and singing, I DON'T CARE. Diva!

My New Obsession

His name is Jay Brannan and he is fucking amazing. I enjoy everything about him. He has a new album coming out in July and he is also going on tour. He will be at the El Rey Theater in July. Anyone want to go? He is not just a pretty face, he writes his own lyrics and I believe writes his music as well. He isn't formally trained on the guitar which makes for some interesting outside the box notes. And boys, he is gay, YUM! His voice kind of sounds like Tracy Chapman, but not. I think you will understand me when you hear him. Does he look familiar? He was also in this wonderful fucking movie, maybe you have heard of it? Shortbus! It was such a raw film about the intimate lives of random people coming together. In some cases literally cumming together. There are no boundaries in this movie, its very sexually awakening. If that makes any sense? There is a guy who sucks himself off and YES they show it. At first I thought it was going to be a horrible soft core porn flick. No, it surprised the fuck out of me! It had a story and opened my eyes to just how much we are different and simultaneously shows us how alike we truly are. Check it out for sure. He is available on iTunes and I suggest you support this mans beautiful music.


Below is his song Half Boyfriend

Gossip Girl

Can you guess which one is the gay? Give up? Trick question, its all three. Joke. Lame joke, sorry about that. Anywho, besides on the show none of them are. Serena's little brother (Eric) came out on this weeks episode (pictured below). I think he is fifteen? I hope they don't write him off now, I am sure a lot of young gay men and women could benefit from seeing this in the mainstream light. He is hardly in the show anyway, but I hope to see more of him. I freakin love this show. It was good at first, then got kinda boring, but now...Now, ladies and gents, its finally trash tv at its best.

Lil Dawn Summers (Michelle Trachtenburg) joined the cast last week to stir up some trouble in this teen drama. She is fucking S sideways with no lube on a humid day in Palm Springs. Have you tried fucking in the humidity with no air conditioner? Lets just say if you have my sense of humor, there will be a lot of laughing. POP! Anywho so Georgina (Michelle) is fucking with Dan (S's bf) saying her name is Sarah making Serena play along or else she will expose her homemade porn to him. She has drugged Serena and told her she was a drunk hooker AND made her miss the SAT's. She is just nuts, she is like Kimberly nuts in Melrose Place. She is now going to be a regular cast member. Excited? Me too! Blair has become a bitch again, thank jeebus, that vulnerable girl act was gettin TIRED! So, after the homemade porn scandel, the gay bomb (btw, Serena's lil brother was also dating Jenny's now ex boyfriend), and Serena finding out Georgina is playin with her personal life, at the very last second what happens? Serena tells Blair she has killed someone. Then the fucking credits roll. Fuck you Gossip Girl, good cliffhanger, can't wait for next week. Since the writer strike f'ed up the season, next season will be extra long, a total of 24 episodes. Stupendous!

Below is Eric

Who is going home tonight? Yoooouuuuuuu!!

So I didn't talk about Brooke going home last week, cuz who cares right? HAHA I kid, I kid! Sorry Chris I know she seems like a sweet girl but whateves. She stayed longer then Carly and that's just bull hockey. Last nights show made not only Syesha cry but me as well. She is my new favorite. I know I love my baby daddy Jason Castro, but he is not the American Idol. This whole season was pretty much a joke. Its obvious producers have taken total control over everything, from song choice to what they wear and how they act. Yet, I still find myself watching this shit. I guess (according to an article I read) even though the numbers are down, Idol is still a ratings killer. Its just not in the "in crowd" anymore, just like leggings. STOP IT! Stop wearing leggings. Fuck! Ok, back to business, Jason Castro takes off (haha hence the pic) and he will be on the cover of High Times in no time! His pretty ass will be missed but good riddance. Ryan will miss touching him, that's for sure! Did you see one of Jason's friends holding up a supporting t-shirt and once he was kicked off he folded it and put it on his shoulder. HAHA I can't wait for this shit to end! See you next year!

Back to my point about the show. Jason singing Bob Marley, predictable! Syesha singing Tina Turner, loved it but seriously? And her civil rights speech, someone is playing the race card. Good for you girl, I want you to win this shit! Lil David singing Stand By Me, cheese much? Chris Daughtry, I mean other David singing Duran Duran, WOW! So predictable, at least Jason acts somewhat real and laughs at inappropriate times, smiles when Brooke gets the boot off the show and smokes the reefer before each and every commercial break. I love him. He was so over the show though, you could tell. Smoking weed 24/7 takes its toll on a girl (the braing being dead HAHA). I bet his hair fucking reeks! Febreeze that ish and let it air out for a few days. Anywho, Lil David is going to win this thing, blah blah blah. I am so over him and his gee golly attitude. We get it, your tween ass can sing, embrace it girl. Own it! I give this girl two months before he is as divalicious as Mariah Carey. His balls will finally drop and he will make daddy hold his YooHoo while he drinks it out of a straw. I want Syesha aka the underdog to trip the David's off the stage and claim victory. That would make me extremely happy. Go Syesha!!!

PS- That Ford commercial. WOW! Nuf said!

Lars And The Real Girl

Do not base this movie off the preview. What starts out as a light and smart comedy turns into a beautiful heartfelt movie. Don't get me wrong it is funny, but I totally cried too! I found myself loving the movie more and more as each minute passed. You dive head first into the movie and grow with each and every actor in the film. All the actors are extremely talented! There is no small role, everyone plays a part of the movies genius. This is a must see!

Here is the preview:



PS- Sorry I haven't been posting, I totally had blogger's block. I missed you guys though! =)