Sorry I had to, its Dolly Parton night!! Is Dollywood still around? I have a feeling that is something I need to experience before I die. Like I will experience some gay spiritual awakening, instantly coming in touch with my inner Dolly and her tah-tahs. She looks good, kinda like a wax figure that can move. Brooke White is up first, I think she did a fine job. ANYONE with a decent voice or even not so decent, can sing country though. That's why Kristy Lee Cock is on that band wagon and altering the minds of rednecks worldwide into voting for her. I hate her! David Cook is up next, he swears he is the same age as me. His rendition of Little Sparrow smells like Simon had a hand in that. He has got his fist so far up his ass. He wants a Chris Daughtry and he wants it BAD! In all fairness, I liked it. He continues to impress me. I am glad to see Paula wasn't allowed to dress herself this week. Remember that mess last week? You almost want to take her to Chuck E Cheeses for trying this week.
Ramiele has got a voice, she just needs to use it. She doesn't get comfortable until about halfway through and that is halfway too late. I am rootin' for her but she is not going to win this. Baby Daddy has got a crazy admirer in Colorado sending in a buttload of postcards. Get off my shit you stupid bitch! If you know whats good for you. Deep breath, ok...Jason Castro made me melt this week, fuck I love him and his hippy ass. He is so pretty. I am glad to see he didn't smoke the ganj before showtime, but you know he ran off that stage and hit that bubbler. Overall, I liked everything about him this week. My Irish love Car Car, her voice is spectacular. What an angel, I seriously need to get drunk with that girl. Is her man the guy with all tha tat's on his face. Ewww. Only one guy (and hes in porn) pulls it off for me. Google Ink Storm, it will make your day!
Lil David is getting fed by the spoonful what to say! What 17 year old is like that? So mature beyond his years. Maybe he is just that nice, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I am still jealous of his hair. He did well, I am sure he made a ton of elder gays, fat girls, and sure as hell daddy tear up. Sidebar, Blake Lewis HATES David Archuleta, he just jealous. He also hated on Sangina and how he didn't even make it on the show. He only did because of his sister. Blah, Blah, Blah...Anywho, Lil Davie did a great, great job. I fucking hate KL Cock! First of all, she got a Julia Robert's hairdo from 2001 and that dress makes her look more like a peacock than usual. They need to do disco night STAT so we can get rid of this herpe. She is nailin' the country shit and givin mad I will blow you eyes. Oh, don't play dumb, we are better at it then you. You were having cheer sex with him!
Syesha does one of my favorite songs ever. Love the yellow dress, love the hair, LOVE the song! Not give me goosebumps good, but this better wake up America. She is a force not to be fucked with. What is up with not wearing shoes on stage? I don't get it. She had better not be on the bottom three again. I forgot all about Aussie boy, I was about to wrap this shit up. I even forgot his name! Michael...Hmmmm, what does this tell you? He must have pissed off the stylist, why is that scarf there? All in all, he did a pretty good job. Sorry I forgot about you baby. Next time wear less clothes or say something sassy to Ryan. Again, go home Kristy. You will still be able to make mall appearances across all of Oregan. Just something to look forward to. Justin out!
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