Sorry I haven't been blogging, I have been super lazy. Plus it was my birthday and that was tons of F-U-N. I am watching Where Are They Now?: Reality Stars, WOW did Puck (first Real World) get OLD and rugged. Anywho, I don't want to write about that. Beyonce and Jay-Z applied for a marriage license today in NY People reports. I guess it is valid for 60 days. I highly doubt there is going to be a wedding that soon. There are so many things to do: pick out the correct wig/weave; her mama got to stitch together the perfect slutty but not too slutty wedding gown; Solange (her sister) needs to hand write each invitation if she wants to remain on the Bouncey payroll; Jay-Z has to wax his lips. Tons & tons of things, they need to breed more doves cuz there ain't enough on this planet for this soiree. I think Beyonce and Tina will give Celine Dion a reason to get married again and be even more over the top. She will pull Renee in his wheelchair down the bald eagled feathered aisle. Behind will be her son as the flower girl, following the bridal party. Because Celine comes first. Always! They will only play her songs at the reception too. Each time a new song comes on she will act surprised and take a bow. DIVA!
PS- In all honesty, I would love, LOVE, to have a threesome with Beyonce and Rihanna. I know it may seem like a lot of who-ha's to deal with but I got a plan. Since I think the vag is one of the ugliest things on earth, dealing with one is yucky, let alone two. However, this is Ri and B and I would give my left nut to be with them. So my plan is to have sex in front of a mirror. That way Beyonce will be distracted while I deal with Ri. Then, when I am ready for B I will just tap her on the shoulder cuz I can't touch her hair. I happen to like all my fingers.
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